Behind the Music: Make It Home

I just dropped a new single, “Make It Home,” which you can purchase on EVEN. You’ll also be able to find it in all your traditional streaming platforms within a week or so. I wanted to talk a little about the inspiration behind this song. This song was born out of a very dark place, but I was able to turn that anxiety into something I found beautiful.

Last December, somebody came into the barbershop where my boyfriend was working. He had a little studio in the back room. This guy scooted by with a mask and shot one of the employees there and ran off. Everyone rushed to help the situation. My boyfriend held his wounded friend in his arms as he tried to stop the bleeding. An ambulance came; there was law enforcement involved. Thankfully, the man who was shot survived, but the shooter got away.

That night, we originally had plans to go to a friend’s live performance. It was a live harp and sound healing experience in which guests were asked to wear all white. I remember because we had still been texting about the dress code earlier in the day. When he called me next, it was to tell me about what had happened. Obviously, I wasn’t thinking about making it to the event anymore. I realize that anything can change in just a flash. Life isn’t predictable, and we can’t live our lives in fear of this unpredictability. Just the same, this dark cloud of anxiety haunts me daily, and this event tipped me over into a pretty dark place. I couldn’t stop crying for days.

I want to feel like I can trust the world, and trust God. I sure as hell trust my man to look after himself and those around him. But the emotions of helplessness come up just the same, and I struggled to reconcile that feeling. That’s how this song was born. I know some of you can relate to this struggle of wanting to believe in a beautiful world, while simultaneously battling the fears that come out of this inevitably human experience.

I don’t really have an answer for why God allows senseless violence to occur in this world. On an intellectual level, I’d say it has something to do with duality and the nature of this universe. But as a real human being experiencing this world in real time, it’s really hard to intellectualize away the pain and suffering some people unfairly endure more than others.

I hope this song can bring healing to you out there who may be dealing with these same difficult emotions.

Sending lots of love this season.

xx,

Jenyi